I must want my life EXACTLY like this for a very good reason
Maybe this is a step in the appreciation process..... because it is impossible to force yourself to appreciate life if you just don't feel it. So how do we find a feeling of appreciation?
Our wanting so hard for something else other than what we have so much that it hurts is kind of like saying I don't really appreciate what I have now and often we feel guilty for that too.
So I thought; what if I was a truly powerful, creative being which I believe I am, I believe we all are, with varying degrees of forgetfulness, if I was truly powerful, consistently creating an external experience through whatever frequencies I happen to currently be vibrating at then there must be a reason I am experiencing this.. something I would like to become aware of.
This life is no accident, I see no coincidences.
Life is reflecting back to me what it is I not only need to see but that which i WANT to see, that which I have created with my attention to it in the past.
AND Furthermore, maybe it will be that way until I see it really clearly, so clear I see right through it, maybe appreciation is just another word for SEEING...Acknowledgement.
Today for example i passed someone who actively dislikes me on the road, I passed someone I love on the road, I was in trouble from the stop and go man for not seeing the stop sign :))) all of which stirred up emotions haha, it goes on until I was crying and doing hoponoponoe on everyone, asking for help to release all judgement to forgive everyone and get into the moment.
They are all there for a reason, I shouldn't waste them, my teachers.
So I am lying here feeling pretty sick and tired today and I thought, I DID THIS , THIS IS WHAT I WANT I want it like this, to bring me back to present awareness and appreciation.
In the now there is no doubt
In the now i make all the money I can spend and more
In the now people love me and I love
In the now I am free to live and be and stretch out in my bed
I make vegetables for dinner
and clean when I want to
I experience all sorts of interactions all moments of the day and I want this, this is ALL for my own edification , no exceptions.
If I am going to spout this philosophy then I am going to fucking live it, despite whatever fears pop up or I experience... NO BECAUSE OF THEM
I am choosing to live in the now because I DID THIS, I did it, I am taking my power back.
This is the way I want it, exactly like it is.
Not to change it although really accepting this moment is pivotal for change.
But because it is what I imagined, it is the frequency I vibrated at and now it is happening, if I keep denying this experience, I will stay in this unexplored manifestation and I won't move on until I acknowledge this creation.... SHIT it is like having a baby but refusing to look at it and abandoning it then getting pregnant again and doing the same thing
If the great moments are our manifestation then so are the 'same' moments or the bad moments
we thought it we felt it we give birth to it
in art as in life
Hallo BABY !